THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE

Life’s Too Short…

Originally written on Tuesday April 17, 2012… HERE

This evening I was going to publish a few posts for my usual link ups but a phone call from my oldest daughter changed all that. She called to ask if I had heard about my dear friend Susie’s number 2 son, Patrick, who took his life earlier this morning. This young man was my youngest son Ben’s best mate through primary school, they were inseparable back then, graduated highschool together in 2008, and have remained friends since.

Far too young to leave this world; Patrick was only 20 years old!!

I have dedicated this sunset to Patrick… It reminds me of Psalm 23.

This family has seen enough sadness in the last 12 months. Susie’s beautiful Mum was diagnosed with cancer last year (for the second time) and lost her battle on July 1st 2011. Not long after, Susie’s marriage broke down after 22 years. Now, Susie will be burying her son. And on Mother’s Day, she will not only be without her Mum for the first time, but also her son.

These flowers are for my beautiful friend Susie… May she and her family know God’s peace, love, strength & comfort at this time.

I consider this family to be part of mine, and the loss is tremendous. An amazing young man with so much to give; involved in leadership in his church, inputting into the lives of others, impacting so many people (possibly without even knowing), gentle, loving, caring, gifted.

I can only be comforted by the fact that he is now reunited with his Creator & his beloved Grandma.

Rest in Peace, Patrick Francis Mundy. You will be forever loved & missed…

Counting more gratitudes…

131. People who come into our lives for just a short time, but who touch our hearts forever.

132. The privilege of knowing a young man of God who impacted so many lives, possibly without even knowing.

133. Not understanding why, but knowing this young man is now at peace.

134. Being able to love, comfort, encourage & pray for friends in their time of need (just as they did in our times of need).

135. The blessings of friendship & fellowship.

136. Friendships that stand the test of time.

137. The gift of memories of loved ones gone but not forgotten.

138. The gift & blessing of a life partner just over 2 years ago, to walk through trials with me, who has not walked away when my health declined more and who loves me more each day.

139. Discovering a new hobby (photography) to keep me occupied and take my mind off my physical pain.

140. Trips out on Michael’s days off to lose myself in nature.

LOST…

Originally written on Sunday April 8, 2012 here.

This last weekend (31st March) marked 12 months since I have seen my oldest son, Daniel. This has been the longest time period that he has cut our entire family off, in the 4+ years he has been with his partner. Wednesday (4th April) was also his 23rd birthday, the second birthday in a row that we have had no contact with him.

So, here is my birthday message to my son as I posted on Facebook (he didn’t see it though as he has blocked and deleted his entire family):

“Happy 23rd Birthday to my oldest son Dan Denehy. 23 years ago, in country Grafton NSW, I was blessed with my second child & my first son. A very sick baby developed into a strong, loving, caring young person with a wonderful sense of fun & a love for life; gifted academically, musically, artistically & as an athlete. Dan, I love you more than words & miss you more each day. xxoo”

It doesn’t get any easier as time goes by, it becomes increasingly difficult. It’s like grieving the loss of a loved one, even though they haven’t actually died.

Perhaps that’s why it gets harder as time passes not easier as it should… because it’s actually not a physical death, it’s the loss/death of a relationship, hopes & dreams with one of the people I love the most. It’s like walking in a never ending wilderness… never knowing if or when it will end.

It’s like living your life with part of it missing, and nothing can fill that empty space. It’s knowing he’s out there, somewhere, possibly living very close by. And knowing that his real heart loves & values his family, but the silence is because he “had to make a choice” between them and us…

So on this Easter Sunday, when I should be celebrating life as I always have, with all my family together, there’s an unshakable sadness deep in my heart and I am longing for life to be breathed into the relationship I’ve lost…

How We Develop Strength… and Gratitude on Mondays

I love inspirational and uplifting quotes. This particular one is true of my life and, I am sure, in many other’s lives. As I wrote in a previous post entitled Overcoming Obstacles, Heartbreaks and Adversity – Part 1, I did not allow the obstacles, heartbreak and adversity to define who I became, or to steal my joy. With God’s help I used my circumstances to become a stronger person, and I hope a better person. And I still do this every day.

I need to be reminded daily of the scripture I shared in my last post:

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

It is through adversity that God can be honoured and praised. It is through the struggles of life that we can bear witness to His strength that carries us through. Our lives can be a testament to His strength, power and love. After all, I survived, didn’t I? Sure, I was battered and bruised and broken… but we need to be in a place like that for God to do His work in us and to show His greatness.

I am reminded of the poem “Footprints in the Sand”

I also need to be reminded daily, that it is Him who supplies my needs – love, joy, peace, hope, grace, rest, comfort, courage, strength and more. Daily, I need to look to Him, draw near to Him and rest in Him, for it is through Him that my strength will continue to develop. Our strength comes from Him, not from within ourselves.

I continue to count my blessings:

101. Large hot mugs of Green Mint tea

102. Day trips to beautiful beaches

103. Waves crashing on rocks

104. Sun, sand & the fresh sea air

105. Red roses from my husband, just because

106. The ability to find beauty in the ordinary

107. Abundance of colour in our world

108. Sweet treats

109. Beautiful sunsets over mountains in the country

110. Insects to photograph and marvel at the intricate details by the Creator

111. Birds of the air

112. Ducks on ponds

113. Storm clouds bringing rain

114. Spectacular sunsets after Summer storms

115. Raindrops on roses

116. A husband who can play piano every night & write songs

117. Living in the “River City”

118. Quality time with my husband

119. Sunset reflections on lakes

120. Resting on the grass by the lake

121. Sunrays through clouds

122. Waterlily reflections on the pond

123. The beauty of flowers – all so different

124. The wonder of capturing a bee in flight

125. Cloudless blue skies after weeks of rain

126. Peace restored to our home after months without it

127. My oldest daughter’s graduation from Interior Design college & a surprise award for excellence in academic & design

128. My youngest daughter starting a nursing degree at University & a new job

129. My youngest step-daughter’s more relaxed, joyful & at peace

130. My husband who says everyday, “I love coming home to you!”

How can I not be GRATEFUL for this life….?

Why worry? God is in control!

Gratitude… the 2012 Joy Dare

This year, those of us counting gratitude have been challenged by Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience to continue counting our 1000 gifts (things we are grateful for) but the 2012 challenge is to count 3 gifts a day.

As my main photography blog is on Blogger at The Greatest of these is LOVE, I spend much of my blogging time there. This year I decided to embark on a photography challenge called “Project 366 Rewind” – a photo a day during 2012. The main aim was to improve my photography, however I have also been photographing the things I love & those I am grateful for. I usually take numerous photos a day (some days 100 or more). So I realised today that I can easily combine the photography challenge with my Gratitude Journal.

Counting 3 a day is not as easy as it seems, even with Ann’s Joy Dare. I have found already this year that there are days when I am totally exhausted and worn down by ill health, the frustrations of raising teenagers again after my own 4 children are all grown, and other challenges that life throws my way. It is so easy to get bogged down in everyday life and to find myself slowly feeling overcome. But that is the whole purpose of gratitude – to change our focus, to find the gifts in the hard stuff, to learn to see in the fog, to be grateful for blessings and for lessons…

Wisdom comes from lessons & adversity, more than from blessings - I have learned in my 46 years of life and my 27 1/2 years of being a Mum. Perhaps it comes through the difficulties, trials & struggles because we, by nature, often rely on our own strength and God needs us to be worn down down before we sit up and listen.

We need to be weak in order for Him to be our strength.

We need to be quiet in order to listen to Him.

We need to be grateful & rejoice in ALL things. ALL THINGS!

And this has been my biggest lesson in the last 6 months – Learning to be grateful not only in the good times, but also in sickness, in need, in adversity, in stress…

Still counting my blessings:

87. Safety from the flood waters – again

88. Phone calls from my Sarah just to see how I am

89. Breakfast in bed

90. His Word – truth, light, love

91. Wisdom from lessons & adversity

92. His voice in the quiet

93. His strength in our weakness

94. Finding gratitude in the hard stuff

95. The man I love – his humility and willingness to get it right

96. God’s patience as I walk, stumble, learn and grow

97. Finding calm in the storms

98. Grace abounding

99. “The Love Dare”

100. “Courageous” & “Fireproof” - the movies that changed our lives

The light at the end of the tunnel…

My youngest daughter, Bec (age 19), has been suffering from anorexia for close to 3 years now. She has had her severe lows; hospitalisation in Nov 2009 after losing an excessive amount of weight in a very short space of time, being sent home from interstate after becoming so ill that she was at risk of organ failure in her first year of University in 2010 (following her life dream) , spiralling downhill a number of times in 2011 after extreme emotional trauma, and now being stuck, so entrenched in the ED (eating disorder) that she sees no way out – no light at the end of the tunnel. Her weight has been up and down like a rollercoaster, but in that time, she has not been close to a “healthy weight”. The Ed has robbed her of her dream (she is a very talented dancer), her freedom, her happiness, her self-worth, her self-respect and threatens to destroy her life. She cannot see her true beauty (inside & out), her true giftings, her true value, her true self… because the ED has convinced her that she is ugly, worthless, useless, fat…

She was always so active, involved in numerous sports at State & National level, highly intelligent gaining a “General Excellence Scholarship” (Academic, Sport & Arts) at a private girls school for her senior years, gifted in leadership holding a position her last year of Primary school & two positions (Worshp Captain & Dance Captain) in her final Year 12. She is beautiful inside and out, loving, thoughtful, caring, compassionate, and sensitive.

Just this weekend, a school friend jokingly posted on Facebook posted: “I am just not cut out for the anorexic lifestyle.” , to which another young woman & teacher in her 20′s replied “You are too gorgeous, intelligent and sensible for that nonsense.”

It saddened me to read this, the view of those who lack understanding & compassion, but my daughter’s reply made me so proud. In all her struggles and hurt from cruel comments, abuse and verbal attacks from strangers, “friends” & some family, she was able to reply with this:

“It’s a shame people don’t understand that anorexia isn’t a lifestyle, it’s a serious illness. I have suffered from it for close to three years now.”

I know that many of my generation and older have no understanding of the disease and think it’s simple to fix. There is a belief that the person can “just get over it” or “just eat some food” and they will be well. Contrary to that beilief, Eating disorders are serious and fatal diseases, like cancer, diabetes and many others – there is no “quick fix”. Anorexia is a mental illness (just like depression); it is the most fatal of all mental illnesses, the hardest to treat, and the more starved the brain becomes, the more entrenched the disease becomes and the longer it lasts. What sufferers and families need is for society to listen to the advocates & educators in the ED area; to gain knowledge, understanding and in doing so to gain compassion.

My daughter posted on her blog last night: “In terms of myself, I am trapped in a state of limbo; mentally in a place that continues to destroy me both inside and out. I feel powerless when it comes to the notion of regaining life and freedom, happiness and contentment. It is a dark alley way and although there is a light at the end of the journey, it appears so dim. “

As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch my daughter waste away before my eyes, to see her intense fear of food – the one thing that once provided, energy, health, strength and nourishment to her body & brain is now a subject of fear. I never envisaged this life. In all the years she and her brothers suffered chronic asthma as children, and were hospitalised countless times fighting to breathe. I never imagined that I would find myself again, fighting alongside her, willing her to choose life, encouraging her to beat an insidious disease that threatens her life.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I find myself again, on my knees, as I have been so many times, as I was when she was younger, pleading with God to heal her, touch her, restore her – to bring back my beautiful daughter, to return the sister her siblings love. It is only God who can give her the strength & courage to fight, to conquer, to triumph over this. My responsibility is to love, support, encourage, guide and pray. And that I will do until she sees the light at the end of this tunnel grow brighter and brighter, and walks out into the light and freedom of life.

Pray with me, if you will. My daughter needs a miracle and the scriptures tell us:

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

Still counting gifts I am grateful for:

77. New challenges in my photography

78. The increasing ability to see beauty in even the simplest things

79. Creativity I never knew I had

80. Books to broaden my knowledge

81. Weekends

82. My new computer

83. Doctors with the gift to diagnose & heal

84. My daughter’s cooking

85. Summer salads

86. Tomato plants, once thought dead, brought back to life by rain

My Best of 2011

2011 has passed, and today a new year has began. I thought it only fitting to post my “best” of 2011. For most of the year I owned a small point and shoot Canon Digital IXUS 950 IS.

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

My prodigal son & my little grandson come into our lives at the end of February under not-so-great circumstances. It was so lovely to spend time with them and to have my son live with us for 4 weeks.

MARCH – a month filled with stress & sadness. I was rushed to hospital twice in 2 weeks due to problems with my heart, and my prodigal son disappeared again. I only took 30 photos for the entire month as a result, and nothing was really worthy of posting in my opinion…

APRIL

Brisbane City from Southbank

MAY

JUNE

Brisbane City Hall

JULY

Cedar Creek Winery

AUGUST

My last “best of” with my Canon IXUS 950 IS

And the first with my brand new Canon EOS DSLR 1100D, purchased on August 18th 2011.

Since I bought my new camera it has been so hard to pick a favourite from each month, so perhaps a couple or a few?

SEPTEMBER

I have always loved macro photography.

And I rediscovered my passion for landscapes. This is my city, Brisbane, at dusk.

OCTOBER

Having a Canon 55-250mm telephoto zoom lens and a tripod gave me the ability to photograph a full moon for the first time ever (and on manual setting).

The same lens allows me to take shots like this – I call it my “stalker lens”. There is so much about this photo that I love!!

And my favourote macro for October.

NOVEMBER

We took 2 day trips up the D’Aguillar Range to Mt Nebo.

DECEMBER

I took a 10 day R&R trip to visiti my parents on the Mornington Peninsula in Victoria. My favourite sunset of 2011 from Mt Martha beach.

For Christmas, my husband Michael surprised me with a Canon 50mm portrait lens. I am discovering a whole new world of sharpness in my portraits & learning to use the manual setting.

I LOVE these portraits of my youngest 2 children, Ben (20) & Bec (19), taken on Christmas day. I am incredibly proud of these two young adults.

And finally, I owe this man so much.

We have been married for only 2 years (Dec 5, 2009). Between us we have 9 children – Sarah (27), Amy (23), Daniel (22), Ben (20), Tamsyn (20), Bec (19), Kathryn (18), Jess (16) and Lizzie (14).

The last 2 years have been a rollercoaster ride and we almost didn’t make it. There have been enormous challenges of sickness & not much health, and not a lot of “better” (until recently) & plenty of “worse”. But through his persistence, determination and willingness to make some enormous changes in his own life (and his refusal to allow me to walk away) and through my own soul searching, my decision to focus on thankfulness and writing my Gratitude Journal which has enabled me to see life from a whole new perspective. It has been incredibly difficult for us both BUT we have made it by the grace of God!!

Here’s to 2012… May the new year bring an abundance of laughter, many wonderful memories and, for those photographer friends of mine, many great photography opportunities!!

This week I am grateful for:

65. Warm Summer days

66. Time to give thanks.

67. Time to enjoy His gifts.

68. Time with friends.

69. Long deep breaths to calm in stress.

70. Hugs & good night kisses from the “man-child”.

71. The celebration of Christmas & remembering the reason for the season.

72. Shortbread.

73. Christmas pudding.

74. Laughter and stories around the dinner table.

75. Grandchildren and the hope of seeing them one day.

76. Drives in the country.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

The girls didn’t want to decorate the tree until I arrived home from my 10 day R & R break in Melbourne. So we decorated rather late this year!

Of course the lights had to be tested before being wrapped around the tree… and what a great opportunity for some horizontal macro shots!!

Joy to the world…

Let there be peace on earth…

I love the way the light catches the glass ornament and creates a decoration effect on it.

And I am quite happy with the finished product and I have since dealt with the gaps…

It was great fun decorating and of course I loved the photographing!!

As we all prepare for Christmas, as we plan the day & the meal and buy gifts for our loved ones… we must never lose sight of the “Reason for the Season”. If not for God’s greatest gift of His Son to mankind, we would not be who we are today. For without Him we can do nothing.

May God bless you and your family at this special time and may you never forget the ultimate gift given to us so we may live. Have a wonderful Christmas.

Sunset on Mt Martha Beach

On Thursday evening we drove down to Mt Martha beach to photograph the sunset as a rain front was developing across the bay in the Geelong/Queenscliff area.
As we drove down the hill towards the beach, we were greeted by this stunning scene:

Once on the beach, I was in my element. This is possibly one of my most favourite sunsets.

Notice the line of gold on the waters edge in the last image?

And for those who may wonder, there is no editing at all… all my photographs are SOOC unless otherwise stated. The sky and sea colours REALLY were that amazing!!

This week I am grateful for:

55. Holidays on the Mornington Peninsula with my parents

56. Beaches

57. Summer

58. Life to live

59. Love to give

60. Brothers

61. Sisters

62. Nieces & nephews

63. Roast dinners

64. Fresh fruit salad

Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

As all my blogger friends in the US celebrate Thanksgiving this week, I am reminded of my decision to live a life of thanks and to give thanks EVERY DAY.

Earlier this year, I came across a brilliant book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and her blog called A Holy Experience. I was challenged to start my own Gratitude Journal which can be found at the top of my blog. I have not managed to record something every day as I had planned BUT I have chosen every day to find something good.

Many of the photography challenges these last couple of weeks have had a theme of gratitude and I have been encouraged to take up the challenge again of recording the things I am grateful for daily, rather than every week. It really is amazing how choosing to live a life of thanks can change your focus. Keeping a gratitude list has been scientifically proven to decrease anxiety, enrich relationships & make you 25% happier! These last few weeks I have seen the proof of that in my own life.

You see, I live daily with chronic illness. I have multiple health problems; 2 heart conditions, Ankylosing Spondylitis, fibromyalgia, nerve damage to my arms and my right leg (from a car accident in 2009), chronic fatigue… I live with severe pain on a daily basis. I am told I hardly complain BUT I used to cry out to God daily asking, “Why me??”

I raised my 4 children alone for 12 years (they are all adults now); my eldest son is a prodigal, my youngest daughter suffers anorexia… and I continued to cry, “Why me??”

My new marriage was falling apart after just 12 months and I was having huge struggles with my 5 step-daughters… and I cried, “Why me??”

I wanted to live daily with Thanksgiving… I wanted to live Eucharisteo!!

MORE THAN ANYTHING, I wanted life to be different, to be happy in the mess of ill health, lost children, a struggling second marriage, problems with step-children… I knew that the only way to be happy was to live in THANKS. So since April, I have been counting. I became slack for a while and only counted one a week but I am getting there! After reading Ann’s blog over the last week of her trip to Ecuador with Compassion, I was challenged again to get back on track with counting the things I am grateful for daily.

Many of the circumstances in my life are still the same. And YES, living in thanks DOES change your life, decrease anxiety, improve relationships and make you happier (maybe more than 25%!!). Living in Thanks, Eucaristeo, Gracias… and I am happy again.

In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am thankful for my, now even LARGER, family. I am the middle child of 5 children, and have 4 children of my own, a son-in-law and almost 2 grandchildren (my oldest son has an 18 month old son, and a daughter due in December). My husband is the middle child of 5 children and has 5 daughters of his own.